Yesterday, my grandmother died.
Never once in my life have I ever experienced someone close to me dying.
But it happened. Thankfully it wasnt sudden. We all had time to prepare.
Mom told me weeks ago that Nana wasn't going to last much longer.
I could tell it was going to affect my mom the most out of the rest of us. I decided to go with her for support as much as I possibly could to the hospital. I knew she needed someone there.
I also wanted my Nana to know that I loved her, whether she remembered me or not.
I continually watched as my mom would cry beside my Nana repeating the same things over and over again.
She would keep telling her how she has done a great job with all of us and she can stop worrying. That she can let go and finally stop torturing herself with the pain.
I would sit there and pray that she was out of this agony. I love her so much, and I truthfully didn't want her to go.
But I knew it was selfish for me to want that. I knew that.
Yesterday, I had a chance to go to the beach with a few friends to get my mind off things.
My mom suggested it also.
Even when I was there, I was contantly worried.
I called my mom to check up on things. She let me talk my Nana over the phone.
As always I told her that I loved her and hung up.
About an hour later, I got a text from a friend saying ''I am sooo sorry, kerryy.'' (she saw my mom's status about my Nana's death on Facebook. I hadn't found out yet)
I had a huge sinking feeling and quickly called Mom again. . .she was crying.
It had finally happened. She was gone.
At that point, I had no idea what to do. I wanted to be anywhere, but around people. I was a wreck.
My sister and her friend, Wyatt, came as soon as they could to pick me up.
On the ride home, they kept me as busy as possible with my favorite music and hilarious conversations that had me laughing for 45 minutes until I was home.
Even when I was there, they made sure I had things to do. We watched a few comedic movies and talked for hours.
Later, the most wonderful couple of sisters named Kate and Sara came over to check on me.
Kate told me to take a ride with her so we could talk. She asked me about everything that happened. I explained. She then asked about my memories with my Nana. I starting telling her, but quickly after came the crying again. Kate said she wanted me to cry as much as I could. I apparently needed to because it would make me feel better.
She was right. When I was finally finished, we went back home.
That night, Kate, Sara, Shannon, Wyatt, Jack, and I all went out to dinner and a movie.
On our way there, the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen in my life was right in front of me.
Not only that, but we were able to clear as day see the ocean and Catalina Island as if it were painted on the sky. Every single one of us were speechless.
That rarely happens due to the smoge from the city of LA.
That's when it hit me. I believe that was both God and Nana's way of showing me that everything was going to be just fine.
That she was finally at peace with the rest of her family and friends.
That reassurance is what has gotten me through the day without crying.
Until now.
These are not sad tears of course. I am just so happy that she's threw with all the pain and suffering.
I love you, Nana.
Thank you for everything you have done for me.
You have helped make me who I am today. <3
